Quotes about closures
Melvin Helitzer -
One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.
Yogi Berra -
I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.
Jack Benny -
I really don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Art Buchwald -
I explained to him I had simple tastes and didn't want anything ostentatious no matter what it costs.
Benjamin Disraeli -
I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion I think it must be gratitude.
Jean Giraudoux -
I forgot they were talking about me. They sound so wonderfully convincing.
Anonymous -
I've always been well liked. I was so popular in school everybody hated me.
Bob Hope -
The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
Wimp Sanderson -
I've been here so long . . . when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick yet.
Anonymous -
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Anonymous -
Some people speak from experience while others from experience don't speak.
Anonymous -
The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut.
J. Petit-Senn -
It is almost impossible to find those who admire us entirely lacking in taste.
Ambrose Bierce -
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves.
Irvin S. Cobb -
A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.
Mark Twain -
Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.
Norman Vincent Peale -
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
Anonymous -
Don't worry if your "you" is small and your rewards are few: Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.
Anonymous -
A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that would make you mad if it happened to you.
Anonymous -
If Noah found himself back on Earth you can bet all he would recognize would be the jokes.
Patricia Jasper Clark -
A sense of humor is the ability to laugh at your own jokes when your friends tell them.
George Miller -
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.
Mike Kalin -
Nouvelle cuisine roughly translated means "I can't believe I spent ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry."
Groucho Marx -
I've had a wonderful evening . . . but this wasn't it.
Martin H. Fischer -
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Anonymous -
There are no perfect people - except of course my wife's first husband.
Jackie Mason -
Ladies and gentlemen you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
Anonymous -
I love a finished speaker I really truly do. I don't mean one who's polished I just mean one who's through.
Anonymous -
Remember if God had wanted this to be perfect he never would have had me up here.
Bob Phillips -
It is always dullest before the yawn.
Anonymous -
I noticed you weren't checking your watches - you've been shaking them.
Wendy Morgan -
I'd like to thank the committee that brought this event about. It was an equal endeavor. They did the food decorations and reservations and I did the traffic flow.
Robert De Niro -
Better to be king for a night than a schmuck for a lifetime.
Anonymous -
Here's to one of the most beautiful kind thoughtful people I have ever known . . . You are getting more like me every day.
Oliver Hardy -
Another fine mess you've got us in Stanley.
Troy Anderson -
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Maria Morgan -
Let's face it some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
Johannes Brahms -
If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted I beg his pardon.
Henny Youngman -
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Marlon Brando -
I thank you for not snoring.