Quotes about counseling

The fact that you do not trust your spouse or lover doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cheating on you and the fact that you do doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t.

A secure attachment is the ability to bond to develop a secure and safe base...

Families come into therapy with their own structure, and tone, and rules. Their organization, their pattern, has been established over years of living, and it is extremely meaningful and very painful for them. They would not be in therapy if they were happy with it. But however faulty, the family counts on the familiarity and predictability of their world. If they are going to turn loose this painful predictability and attempt to reorganize themselves, they need firm external support. The family

The individual psychotherapy patient comes to the therapist with an almost automatic deference, a sense of dependence and compliance. The role pattern is old and established: the dependent child seeking guidance from a parent figure. There is no such traditional image for the family, no established pattern in which an entire family submits to the guidance of an individual. And the family structure is simply too powerful and too crucial for the members to go trustingly into an experience that thr

Even though we were still waiting for Don, therapy was well begun. We were engaged in a subtle, often predictable, and very important contest with the family about who was going to be present at the meetings. Carl and I had revealed some of what our relationship had to offer: a good-humored liking for each other, an ability to cooperate, and an insistence on remaining ourselves. I was clearly not going to be the reverential assistant to the older man. And perhaps most important, Carl had intuiti

When Carl asked the Brices to bring their whole family to therapy, everyone in the family knew intuitively what that meant. Their whole world would be exposed: all its caring, its history, its anger, its anxiety. All in one place at once time, subject to the scrutiny and invasion of a stranger. And that was too much vulnerability. With its own unconscious wisdom, the family elected Don to stay home and test the therapists. Did we really mean everybody? Would we weaken and capitulate if they didn

It has been a long road for us as family therapists to reach an understanding of just this phenomenon-the sense of the whole, the family system. While we could have explained the theory of meeting with the whole family to the Brices, at that anxious moment it would not have touched them. There are situations where, in the words of Franz Alexander, the woice of the intellent is too soft. The family needed to test us. They needed the experience of our being firm. As unpleasant as it was, our respo

Family therapists view the therapeutic relationship as a means to an end rather than as an end in itself. Family therapists see beyond the problematic patterns in the family to the potential healing power of family relationships.

Often, our misunderstandings about love are born in disruptive family relationships, where someone was either one-up or one-down to an extreme. There is an appropriate and necessary difference in the balance of power between parents and young children, but in the best situations, there should be no power struggles by the time those children have become adults - just deep connection, trust, and respect between people who sincerely care about each other.In disruptive families, children are taught

Teams that spend a lot of time learning the tricks of the trade will probably never really learn the trade.

Infusing the cultural war with love, respect and empathy is the responsibility of every one who cares about the health and wellbeing of women, our families and communities, and our democracy.

Love is divine force of existence.

Have you ever noticed that fear affects your physical mind and body?

An unresolved issue will be like a cancer with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love and beauty.

The bond of love must be kept strong.

One last “happy” thought: Your marriage will end either in death or divorce. (Think about it!) So well before the “I do’s” (and the eventual tears), why not give both of yourselves a chance for a marriage that can be the best it can be?

The one trying to have the last word is rarely walking in the Word.

Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.

If you possess the character that you have in your daily lives, nobody can't forcefully change your personality unless you embrace their influence.

The Anatomy of Conflict:If there is no communication then there is no respect. If there is no respect then there is no caring. If there is no caring then there is no understanding. If there is no understanding then there is no compassion. If there is no compassion then there is no empathy. If there is no empathy then there is no forgiveness. If there is no forgiveness then there is no kindness. If there is no kindness then there is no honesty. If there is no honesty then there is no love. If the

If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.

Author says her father was so diplomatic that when people came to him for solutions, people not only accepted them, but they believed they thought of them.

The world’s greatest achievers have been those who have always stayed focussed on their goals and have been consistent in their efforts.

Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.

Life is a purposeful action.

Perfectionists are not all negative, miserable, unhappy and over controlling individuals

Use fear as a counselor not a captor.

There’s nothing wrong with victims of any kind of abuse; they are perfectly normal. It is the ones that abuse others, who are not normal. It is they who have twisted minds and need to be corrected or counselled. Unfortunately people look down upon the abused victims as if they’ve done something wrong and make them feel ashamed as well as guilty- which is not fair and absolutely incorrect. Victims must be shown kindness, encouraged and rehabilitated at the earliest and those who abused them must

Real loved one's aren't afraid, and will suggest to you, what's in your best interest because they wouldn't want too see you suffer the consequences of, sideways, emotional impulse(s). To see you crash and burn, time after time, is the gratification of 'yes folk' lurking in your corner. You may not agree, but always consider the voice(s) that have consistently kept it real.

Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.

Perception is a vice with which each person is capable of perceiving his or her reality.

Loss has no friend, no allies, no benefit to the human spirit.

As an individual, you are entitled to your time of grief, process of grief, and right to grieve.

There is no greater grief, than when a parent losses a child.

When a woman miscarries, the experience of the father is often forgotten. But men grieve pregnancy loss too...

A child's attachment process begins within the first year of life...

There is no debating that the effects of trauma experienced in childhood may have grave consequences.

Attachments that are not fostered may lend to the child's inability to properly attach or have no attachment at all.

For example, in order to identify these schemas or clarify faulty relational expectations, therapists working from an object relations, attachment, or cognitive behavioral framework often ask themselves (and their clients) questions like these: 1. What does the client tend to want from me or others? (For example, clients who repeatedly were ignored, dismissed, or even rejected might wish to be responded to emotionally, reached out to when they have a problem, or to be taken seriously when they e

Death anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.

Techniques are like tools: The more you have, the more options for getting a job done - but you have to know what you are building first.

In cases where treatment with medication is warranted, work on family interactions will help to reduce symptom severity and promote better functioning in the long run.

Be an informed advocate and support.

Psychotherapy isn't a twentieth-century artifice imposed on nature, but the reinstatement of a natural healing process.

Perception and worldview are one's summary of life.

Toxic relationships are like a good pasta that has been overcooked.

Happiness is a choice and a state of mind.

Abuse may consist of physical maltreatment or language that is belittling, discriminatory...

Real happiness provides you the confidence that you never thought was obtainable.

Trauma may be endured through a physiological or psychological threat to life or overall wellbeing.

My traumatic experience was life changing

Survivors of trauma may have difficulty initiating relationships ...

Respect your needs and limitations as you work through your grief and begin to heal

When those you love die, the best you can do is honor their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you’re going to take whatever lesson that person or animal was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life… it’s a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself.

All you need is one safe anchor to keep you grounded when the rest of your life spins out of control

Unfortunately, there is no expiration date on grief

In simple, the past is a time gone by and no longer exists in the present moment, but we choose to allow this past to occupy our minds, our bodies and our very existence.

The loss of a child exploits the emotions of each individual it encounters.

Letting go of the past, is like opening the flood gates of healing to be set free.

The benefits of forgiveness are limitless.

An anchor should be someone who is personally open and willing to communicate.

Allow yourself to be an anchor and anchored by others.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or making the memories insignificant. Healing means refocusing

The loss of my child broke my spirit.

Although the client-centered approach had its origin purely within the limits of the psychological clinic, it is proving to have implications, often of a startling nature, for very diverse fields of effort.

Should you operate upon your clients as objects, you risk reducing them to less than human. Following the culture of appropriation and mastery your clients become a kind of extension of yourself, of your ego. In the appropriation and objectification mode, your clients’ well-being and success in treatment reflect well upon you. You “did” something to them, you made them well. You acted upon them and can take the credit for successful therapy or treatment. Conversely, if your clients flounder or r

Perfectionism is adaptive if you are mindful of your humanhood.

I could go into their reality any time I chose to, but they could never come into mine. This is what I called 'helping' them.

Ed Welch says that all counseling is a variation on a single theme: knowing and praying for the counselee. Of all the questions the counselor might ask, then, the central guiding question in the counselor's mind is, "How can I pray for you?

You have the chief spark of your health's fire, for you have true knowledge of the hand that guides the universe.

I've had a lot of therapists, so I've had the opportunity to approach my fear in many different ways. I've faced it head on and sideways and tried to tiptoe up behind it.

In populations experiencing trauma across a wide variety of settings, the portion of those experiencing ongoing PTSD is remarkably similar – one third. Ecclesiastes says woe to him who falls alone, but that the cord of THREE strands is not easily broken. Apparently deep in our human wiring is the resilience to be a buttress for those feeling overcome.

Loss is only temporary when you believe in God!

Alex had cooked, and coaxed, and helped Mark form borders around the shapeless days. Alex had given meaning to the word "servant".

God can make good use of all that happens, but the loss is real.

We have been together for 40 years, married for 36. There have been three times in our relationship when we were unable to resolve an issue on our own. We used all the skill that we have and yet it was still unresolved. In those three times we sought professional help because there was a blind spot for each of us. The therapist was able to listen to both of us and help us come to a place of resolution that we both felt good about. I feel very grateful for that help. Most times we have been able

The separation of truth from reason is a dangerous game. I think ideas have to sink very deeply into a person's soul, into their being, before they can effect change.

Discovering an inner history requires listening – and often not to the first story told.

Jefferson determined the lodestar that lay hidden in the motivations of others

All children should be taught to unconditionally accept, approve, admire, appreciate, forgive, trust, and ultimately, love their own person.

Good… Bad? I’m not here to judge where you’re at or where you’ve been. I’m simply here to encourage you in where you would like to go. You have the map; I’ll shine the light on it so you can better read it. And eventually, the sun will rise again in your life and you’ll no longer need my light to assist you.

We do not have to have the correct answers to listen well. In fact, often the correct answers are a hindrance to listening well, for we become more anxious to give the correct answer than to hear.

Real comfort is found when I understand that I am held in the hollow of the hand of the One who created and rules all things. The most valuable thing in my life is God's love, a love that no one can take away. When my identity is rooted in him, the storms of trouble will not blow me away. This is the comfort we offer people. We don't comfort them by saying things will work out. They may not. The people around them may change, but they may not. The Bible tells us again and again that everything a

All change comes from deepening your understanding of the salvation of Christ and living out the changes that understanding creates in your heart.

I found that the same softness which once made me a target now compelled people to trust me with their stories.

A skilled listener can help people tap into their own wisdom.

We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—hourly and daily. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its pro

I could help you,” I said. “Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend.

The counselor says that with more time and more surgeries, I will begin to feel normal again. She says this with a mouth that can still smile. It’s so easy to be reassuring when you have lips.

It turns out that up to 35 percent of people with bipolar disorder also have ADHD.

As you may already know, post-traumatic stress disorder is extremely complex. Each client has a unique, perhaps virtually unbelievable, set of experiences, and an almost equally set of reactions to those experiences.

Someone mentioned therapy to me once. I read a book instead. ~ Drew Stirling

If you ask an Irishman for directions, he might be quick to answer, Well if I were going there, I would not start here.

The actions and emotional responses of others are not your responsibility. You cannot rescue people from themselves. This is for them to do. — André Chevalier

their anxiety, justified or not, was genuine,

Almost everything I've done is technically wrong, but Paul never mentioned the mistakes, only the corrective measures.

In the reflected gaze of his (her husband's) steady admiration, she saw the face of the girl he had fallen in love with.

One must always forgive another's passion.

When is a train most free? Is it when it goes bouncing across the field off the track? No. It is free only when it is confined (if you will) to the track. Then it runs smoothly and efficiently, because that was the way that its maker intended for it to run. It needs to be on the track, structured by the track, to run properly. You too need to be on the track. God's track is found in God's Word.