Quotes about humorist

- You gave me a dead frog for my birthday!- To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Women" Any culture that has supported the education, rights and sanctity of women has dominated those cultures who have not. As Lycurgus the Spartan lawgiver once said, "Strong women make strong men.

Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?

Wisdom of the Ages "Unsuccessful Town Slogans" Sequim (WA)- "We put the Dung in Dungeness.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!

Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vulture?

Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.

Wisdom of the Ages: "The Pope and Congress" It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through.

I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.

Today I feel like I did tomorrow.

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

Give a man a beer, the remote and a La-Z-Boy and he’s a happy camper! All Things Caveman humor cartoon book will help you understand that hairy guy beside you.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Look out Below!" Air Asia's catchy new advertising slogan.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.

A comedian is better than a politician at least there is no doubt.

If you're too serious to make life a laughing matter, then you seriously need to make laughter matter to you today and every day!

I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?

In the afternoon the ship's company assembled aft, on deck, under the awnings; the flute, the asthmatic meodeon, and the consumptive clarinet crippled the Star Spangled Banner, the choir chased it to cover, and George came in with a peculiarly lacerating screech on the final note and slaughtered it. Nobody mourned. We carried out the corpse on three cheers (that joke was not intentional and I do not endorse it).

The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don’t—whichever seems likelier to win an effect.