Quotes about lol

I had to make water ” I said. It was the classic female excuse and no male in recorded history had ever questioned it. “I see ” the Inspector said and left it at that. Later I would have a quick piddle behind the caravan for insurance purposes. No one would be any the wiser.

Butt holes are like a one-way street they were made the way they were for a reason.

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.

Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”“No!”“Me neither,” Leo admitted.

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?""Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it.""Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!

I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.

How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - "“Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”“Stalk me.”“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.

I want to do it too!” said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless.“Nope,” said Nudge, shaking her head. “You stand out like a fart in church.

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.

Your... Your aura. It's... amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today... Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.'I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit up around Dimitri normally, what on earth happened to my aura post-sex?

You were at the party on Friday night, weren't you?" I didn't mentioned I'd followed him into the woods.He leaned back in his chair, his legs sprawled out. His boots nudged the bottom ruffle of my skirt. "Aye."Aye? Seriously? Could he be any hotter?Unless he had been looking for his girlfriend at the party.Not hot."I was supposed to meet my cousin," he elaborated, "but I didn't find her,"Hot again.

Only love will attract love.”~ Amunhotep El Bey

There are men and gods, and beings like Pythagoras.

Interviewer: So. Tell me about your mother.Ezra: You're taping this, right?Interviewer: Audio only. Camera is faulty.Ezra: Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my… oh, dear… yes, it's my MIDDLE finger at Mr. Postgrad here.Interviewer: Mr. Mason...Ezra: Now I'm wiggling it.Interviewer: Terminating interview at 13:58 on 03/19/75.Ezra: Look at it wiggl--audio ends-

Claire found herself staring at his feet, which were in bunny slippers. Myrnin looked down. "What?" he asked. "They're quite comfortable." He lifted on to look at it, and the ears wobbled in the air. "Of course they are," she said. Just when she thought Myrnin was getting his mental act together, he'd do something like that. Or maybe he was just messing with her. He liked to do that, and his dark eyes were fixed on her now, assessing just how weirded-out she was. Which, on the grade scale of ze

Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem.Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru [long silence from the other end of the phone]Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your s

Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.

Okay, so, flying,” I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. “Flying is … great. It feels great when you’re doing it. It’s fun. Pure freedom. There’s nothing better.”Dylan smiled, a slow, easy smile that seemed to light up his whole face.“So the first thing we’re going to do,” I told him, “is push you off the roof.

When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry. Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public. Kyo Sohma: Oh that's it We're taking this outside Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed We ARE outside you stupid cat.

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.

Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct.""Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages." "I doubt it.""Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him. "Not seriously.""Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know. Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?""Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats.

Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence."You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook

Izzy was utterly convinced. Never mind Arabian horses, African cheetahs. No creature in the world could bolt so quickly as a rake confronted with the word "marriage". They ought to shout it out at footraces rather than using starting pi

And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at Flit, the ache got worse. He needed to get laid.

Where’s the pizza?” Something warm and furry came and leaned against my right leg. I reached down to pet Rocky, a black lab who was going gray around his eyes and muzzle. “Rocky wants to know where the pizza is, too.”“He’s the reason the food is in the kitchen. Last time we kept it out here on the picnic table, he helped himself to half of a large bacon pepperoni pizza and then he threw up in my mom’s closet. She was cleaning dog barf out of her shoes for days.”I squatted down and rubbed Rocky’s

Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey

I don't need psychologyI am not a sociopathNeither and Psychopath

I can take care of myself,” I said hotly.“Darlin, you don't even know how to pleasure yourself.

What a cool name. Where'd you get it?""I've always had it.

They have provided a system which for terse comprehensiveness surpasses Justinian's Pandects and the By-laws of the Chinese Society for the Suppression of Meddling with other People's Business.

Most humans expressed affection by pressing their lips together, a simple act, so why would anyone feel the need to research the process?

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked.

They're really into it, laughing and teasing each other, and I am looking at Pam and thinking once again how she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and that if we were back in the olden times she might have been made into a goddess because she is so beautiful. Sometimes I cannot stop my mind. It's scary.

I can't believe you just did that! Are you crazy?"I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Why do people keep asking me that?"He turned to stare at me, his eyes worried. "Who else keeps asking you that? Are any of them doctors?

I'm not some character from a boys' manga." ~Yukio

Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, “Your time is coming to an end, youpathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill beremembered.”Gazzy’s blue eyes flashed. “Then you can remember me telling you to kissmy-”“Enough!” ter Borcht said.

Tell me it's not true."He sighed. "Fine. It's not true."...And yet..."Are you lying?"He rolled his eyes. "Of course I'm lying.""Not cool." I muttered.Kyle shrugged. "I didn't want you to start hyperventilating again." His hair fell over his eyes and he brushed it aside. "I figured annoying you was safer than admitting anything.

I am near fourteen and have never yet seen a hanging. My life is barren.

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly.

I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.''You smell terrible.''That's the smell of evil.''It's like rancid meat and bad eggs.''Evil," Scapegrace insisted.

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!

It’s when I’m around some people that my entire vocabulary goes on vacation. Like now

Finally! You're here!"Uh....Do I know you?"Well, no....But you're here, all the same...

The most worst scenario.... I mean if this happen to me and to be so deep in the sea and sailing oh hell... let's go be with me... (The Finest Hours: The True Story of the U.S. Coast Guard's Most Daring Sea RescueBook by Tougias, Michael J., Sherman, Casey)

Well, then, he ought to write her a letter. He ought to say: 'This is to tell you that I propose to live with you as soon as this show is over. You will be prepared immediately on cessation of active hostilities to put yourself at my disposal; please. Signed, Xtopher Tietjens, Acting O.C. 9th Glams. A proper military communication.

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry.

Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what it's like to be a vampire.

I'm simpley one hell of a butler.

I attacked him, he healed me, then he took me hunting, I threatened him, and he took me home. Wow. That was like a date.

And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll"-Kaname Kuran"I DONT WANT IT!"-Zero Kiryu"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"-Juri Elizabeth Marin

I took the money and passed the box across the counter and said politely, ‘Your choice of colourreally lacks style.’ I smiled and Beth laughed and the guy asked to see my manager.I got Bert and he leant over the box and looked at the paint and said, ‘Ed was being polite. Yourchoice of colour is shit.

Empowered Women 101: A confident woman takes him for exactly who he is, not who she wants him to be. He is who he is, take it or leave it before you get married. This is the ground level of your partner. Together you can grow from here. However, if you are still teaching basic kindergarten values such as kindness, compassion, respect or honesty then you shouldn't complain if your ground level has a basement.

We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that.

I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay?

I started rubbing my temples and she suggested I don't really get headaches. It just hurts me to think.

Best to have only a few absolutely perfect trait - for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality - so you don't overwhelm.

Puppies are cute. I'm fierce!""Yeah!" Evelyn snorted. "Romas says you're as fierce as a kitten.""A kitten?" Kiera's tone grew more hurt. "I'm not afraid of him, just because he's twelve feet tall and can bench press me with his toes. It's not nice of him to say that

I leave her to chemically combust and find Wren in the student council office, filling out extremely interesting paperwork. He’s buried behind piles of the stuff. I can barely see tufts of his blonde hair poking out. I reach into the paperwork pile and shove the two halves aside. Hundreds of them fall off the desk and to the floor. Papers drift through the air like snowflakes. Fat, boring-ass snowflakes. Wren looks up, face slack with shock. “Whatcha doing?” I ask. “Dividing up funding for the o

Ugh! I absolutely hate lust. Hate. It. Every fiber of my being knows he’s not a good person, yet my body doesn't seem to give a shit at all.

- You gave me a dead frog for my birthday!- To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.

There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.

I can't help but watch his lips as they cover the opening of the bottle that my lips were just touching. We're practically kissing.

He is as good as anybody in this parish! He is very particular, too, about going to church-yes, he is!''I am afeard nobody ever saw him there. I never did, certainly.''The reason of that is,' she said eagerly, 'that he goes in privately by the old tower door, just when the service commences, and sits at the back of the gallery. He told me so.'This supreme instance of Troy's goodness fell upon Gabriel's ears like the thirteenth stroke of a crazy clock. It was not only received with utter incredul

Okay. When he comes, you can see him?""Yes. I can hear him, too. And he, uh..."She brushed the bandage on the side of her skull. I looked at her in bewilderment. Was she serious?"He hits you?""Yes.""With his fist?""Yes."John looked up from his coffee indignantly. "Man, what a dick!"I did roll my eyes this time and glared at John once they stopped. I don't know if you've ever seen a ghost, but I'm guessing that if you did, the thing didn't run over and punch you in the face. I'm guessing that's n

You wouldn't recognize a good thing if it was spanking your ass.

If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

Your name. That’s all I want.” I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.

I stop stretching and face him, unwilling to back down from this visual standoff. I'm not going to let him perform his little Jedi mind tricks on me, no matter how much I wish I could perform them on him. He’s completely unreadable and even more unpredictable. It pisses me off.

Azdaha were no joke. ... Not much is known about this dragon [the aforementioned Gandarw], except that he apparently had yellow heels. I wonder why that was such an important detail. I mean if I were describing Godzilla, the color of his heels wouldn’t be the first thing I would mention.

Make your decision, one moment you need to follow somebody for awesome stuff. But other you just add him to your favourites authors and you check out everyday his progress, awesome.

And for once i didn't look back.

Oh, my dear! I’m afraid you’ve mistakenme for someone else! My name is Rhea Silvia. I was the mother to Romulus and Remus, thousands of years ago. But you’re so kind to think I look as young as the 1950s.

What exactly are you doing?” I asked when he did another lap around my little living room.Connor stopped, glanced my way, and shook his head. “I’m thinking about how long it would take me to say goodnight to you if we were really dating.” Yeah. Eye roll.“Okay, got it.” I shoved him toward the door. “Out you go.

Oh, god…” I whimper. “I haven’t done anything yet, baby,” Colton growls. “I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name.

I sort of fell.""Percy! Six hundred and thirty feet?

I did Google him, you know.""Oh, so you GOOGLED him Oh, well, that changes everything then, doesn't it? What could I possibly worry about now that I know you've conducted such a thorough Internet search?

I love my haters, they rage and rage and all they do is spreading my word.

Okay, but if you try to get me to pray with you, I walk.

What I'm trying to say, Brooke Overland, is that I want to be your nanny."That's seriously the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life.

Damn it. What are we exactly calling a 'masculine problem'? Did he have trouble running the flag up? Or did it fall to half staff?"Do we have to speak about this metaphorically or-""Yes," Leo said firmly."All right. He..." Poppy frowned in concentration as she searched for the right words, "... left me while the flag was still flying.

Forget boys and read a good book. Or study. When you're twenty-five and ranking in the big bucks, men will be falling all over you're a successful professional woman.

Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.

I didn’t say you weren’t smart. I said you were stupid.”“I guess I’m too dumb to see the difference.

It's not such a huge deal when this happens at a 7-Eleven. It's pretty huge, though, when you spend the entire job interview trying not to come across like a box of hair and you come across like a box of hair.

You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But Iam one of many.”“Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel.“One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. NowNudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out.“Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up,blow stuff up, blow stuff up!

I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger. This girl is starved for attention. It's amazing to me when people are totally unaware of how bad they are at socializing.

Well, so you don't get too cocky, I myself often complete the TV Guide crossword puzzle." He puffed out his chest. "In pen.

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. "He needs a Band-Aid," I said. A look passed between me and Fang, full of suppressed humor, relief, understanding,love — Forget I said that too. I don't know what's wrong with me.

He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and calloused, tough with muscle and old scars.The night settled around us like a blanket. I could hear the water lapping against the dock. We were totally alone.“You’re . . . ,” he began, and I waited, heart throbbing in my throat. “Such a pain,” he concluded.“What?” I asked, just as his head swooped in and his mouth touched mine. I tried to speak, but one ofFang’s hands held the back of my head, and he kept his lips pressed against me, kis

You are all made of real poop.

I assure you that in all matters of discretion not involving food, we make etiquette tutors look like slobbering barbarians.