Quotes about survivors

Most survivors grew up too fast. Their vulnerable child-selves got lost in the need to protect and deaden themselves. Reclaiming the inner child is part of the healing process. Often the inner child holds information and feelings for the adult. Some of these feelings are painful others are actually fun. The child holds the playfulness and innocence the adult has had to bury.

Ugh. I do not miss being your age." Sarah muttered, retracting her hand and wrinkling her nose. "It's like all teenagers have hormones coming out of their ears.

That was one thing the Divines had taught us: treasure every precious moment. Do the things you've always dreamed of doing. Spend as much time as you can with the ones you love, because tomorrow you might not get the chance.

Don't be cute." Luke murmured, amusement lacing his tone. He moved forward, leaning against the slice of wall at the other end of the floor to ceiling window. "I promise you, I wouldn't even know where to start.

The view wasn't exactly breath-taking. Kind of boring actually. Unless, of course, you had a rare, strong appreciation for deserts, in which case it was downright mind blowing.

Lacey?" He bowed his head until his face was inches from mine. His smile was still in place, and as his eyes swept over my face, it widened. "Uh-oh. Did you break?

When her voice cracked and tears started spilling down her cheeks, I panicked. I wasn't good at consoling people at the best of times, but even a trained therapist would have struggled in my shoes. What could you possibly say to a girl who'd dug for hours trying to rescue her family after they'd been buried alive?

He was slowly starting to recover. I could tell by the eye roll and sigh. Oh, so only he could be a comedian?

They were smart enough to know that handing out superpowers like sweets to the general public was never going to be a good idea.Not that that stopped it from happening anyway.

For all our guessing and speculating, there were a few things we all agree on. Things we knew to be fact. The drug was never meant to get out. Ordinary people were never supposed to develop extraordinary powers. Divines weren't supposed to take over the world.But they did.

Anyone who'd ever kept a secret could tell you, the bigger the secret, the more draining it was to carry around with you. Every second, of every minute, of every day, lying to the people around you. Waiting for the inevitable moment that the truth would come out and you would have to deal with the fallout.It was exhausting.

After a hasty gulp, I lowered the bottle and grinned. "How much are you betting it's that and the melons they put in the fridge yesterday on the menu for tonight?"Luke grinned but said nothing. I shook my head. "You're grinning because I said "melons", aren't you?"His smile widened. I rolled my eyes. Boys, they never grew up.

Studying him then, it was hard not to notice how handsome Luke was, a fact that that most of the girls hadn't missed either. To their delight, his almost OCD obsession with having his hair no more than several inches long meant he regularly asked them to trim his sandy brown hair with nail scissors. An honour they held rock, paper, scissor tournaments for. It was all very serious stuff.

Never underestimate the power of telling a teenage boy he's risking his chances of getting laid. Works almost every time.

Same. I don't like to think I might have ended up in Plumber's gang, but given the alternative..."I raised both eyebrows. "Yeah. Drug-dealers or super-powered psychopaths? Choices, choices.

Kate! Get some ice on that ankle or it's going to swell to the size of Luke's head. Then neither of you will be able to get through the front door.

I caught sight of a small twitch on Plumber's face, like he was battling the urge not to frown.Well Plumber, if you didn't want your bitch making noise, you should have put a muzzle on her.

What?" I asked, the word coming out much softer than I'd intended. Not quite a whisper, but close."Nothing. Just glad we ended up here, all of us, together.

I wasn't one to judge others when it came to fashion choices, but even I knew he'd drawn the short straw in the apocalyptic wardrobe department.

Jesus, Lacey. You just scared me half to death."I forced a laugh. "Only half? Damn.

My sister and I both survived the apocalypse. But that day was only the beginning of our struggles.Three years later, and this is where I ended up, alone, bound and awaiting my surely unpleasant fate.And man, how I wished they'd just get on with it.

I didn't even know this guy's name. I'd never heard him referred to as anything but "Plumber', a hideous nickname he'd dubbed himself for no other reason than that it had been his occupation Before. Oh, and he carried a wrench around as his signature weapon. The whole thing screamed sanity.Not.

You going to let me go now?""That depends." He muttered. "Are you going to try and nosedive down the stairs again?""Wasn't planning on it, but who knows how this might play out.

If these were Plumber's people, that would mean he knew we were coming. That we'd lost our element of surprise and we were walking into a trap.Which, you know, was obviously at the top of my to-do list today.

The Divines may have taken our homes, our friends, our family, but what we had now we would fight to keep hold of.And if the Divines did decide to try and take it, they'd have a hell of a fight on their hands.

Just then they were both vulnerable, and the only thing standing between them and our enemies, was me.It seemed nobody wanted to take those odds because no one approached. I was mildly flattered.

Our enemies had a tendency to take one look at Charlotte, with her short, slim figure and her pretty, delicate Asian features, and assume she was weak. A low level threat.Ten seconds later, the look of surprise on his face as he lay on his back, winded, eyes rolled up and watching her support Kate towards the stairs, said he'd possibly learnt his lesson. Never judge a book by it's cover.

She hadn't been scared for herself, she'd been frightened for me.Good. Her A-class horror movie scream earlier had nearly put me in an early grave. When this was over, I could call us even.

Instead I watched Layla as she bolted over the battered desk, heading for the door Charlotte and Kate had just disappeared through. Good girl.The thought screeched to a halt as I watched her run straight past it.

I wasn't the kind of girl who liked to wait around to be rescued.

Did you see them? They're kids, Nathan. Children, who ended up being in the wrong place, at the wrong time." I blew out a frustrated breath, tracking one of the angry young teens in topic as he was dragged kicking and yelling from the room. "They won't even consider switching sides. Plumber has them so scared, all they can see if the numbers advantage he has over us.""Numbers don't mean shit when you're fighters have the same level of skill as a two year old." He sniffed, shaking his head at the

Always remember, if you have been diagnosed with PTSD, it is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is proof of your strength, because you have survived!

Several researchers demonstrate the ways people fail to label trauma as such or underreport traumatic experiences. In a sample of 1,526 university students, Rausch and Knutson (1991) found that although participants reported receiving punitive treatment similar to that of their siblings, they were more than twice as likely to identify their siblings’ experiences as abusive as they were to label their own in this way. The authors reported that participants were likely to interpret parental treatm

To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the victim and that joins the victim and witness in a common alliance. For the individual victim, this social context is created by relationships with friends, lovers, and family. For the larger society, the social context is created by political movements that give voice to the disempowered.

It is always a mistake to underestimate how long it takes for mankind to understand the traumas it has suffered, especially the self-inflicted ones.

..but I know my commitment to change and transformation is stronger than my commitment to self-destruction. In these moments, the need to rewrite the familiarity of violent reactions and hold oneself accountable becomes increasingly important. Patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism have a way of permeating all of us to our core. It is essential that we are all personally committed to not perpetuating further abuse upon each other's bodies.

As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.

Survivors are damaged to different degrees by their experiences. This does not depend on what happened physically. A Survivor who has been raped will not necessarily be more damaged than a Survivor who has been touched. The degree of damage depend on the degree of traumatic sexualization, stigmatization, betrayal and powerlessness, the child has experienced. This in turn depends on a number of factors such as:* who the abuser was;* how many abusers were involved;* if the abuser was same-sex or o

I deliberately seek out the colors to keep my mind off them, but now and then, I witness the ones who are left behind, crumbling among the jigsaw puzzle of realization, despair and surprise.

Only a self capable of being jolted out of its mundane complacency is up to the task of both hearing what repair demands and helping to invent new responses to harms that no preexisting remedy fully comprehends.

I like being on my own. I mean, I'm sure a Pack’s best for some dogs, but I've walked alone since I left my Pup Pack. I can look after myself.

The country has turned its loyal inhabitants into wanderers similar to the survivors of an apocalypse.

The fact that most perpetrators of organised abuse are men, and that their most intensive and sadistic abuses are visited upon girls and women, has gone largely unnoticed, as have the patterns of gendered inequity that characterise the families and institutional settings in which organised abuse takes place. Organised abuse survivors share a number of challenges in common with other survivors of abuse and trauma, including health and justice systems that have been slow to recognise and respond t

Dr. Peter Levine, who has worked with trauma survivors for twenty-five years, says the single most important factor he has learned in uncovering the mystery of human trauma is what happens during and after the freezing response. He describes an impala being chased by a cheetah. The second the cheetah pounces on the young impala, the animal goes limp. The impala isn’t playing dead, she has “instinctively entered an altered state of consciousness, shared by all mammals when death appears imminent.

TRAUMA STEALS YOUR VOICE People get so tired of asking you what's wrong and you've run out of nothings to tell them. You've tried and they've tried, but the words just turn to ashes every time they try to leave your mouth. They start as fire in the pit of your stomach, but come out in a puff of smoke. You are not you anymore. And you don't know how to fix this. The worst part is...you don't even know how to try.

This world isn’t a fair place, because we never know how much time we’ve really got.

People who have survived atrocities often tell their stories in a highly emotional, contradictory and fragmented manner.

Somatic Symptoms:People with Complex PTSD often have medical unexplained physical symptoms such as abdominal pains, headaches, joint and muscle pain, stomach problems, and elimination problems. These people are sometimes most unfortunately mislabeled as hypochondriacs or as exaggerating their physical problems. But these problems are real, even though they may not be related to a specific physical diagnosis. Some dissociative parts are stuck in the past experiences that involved pain may intrude

People stagger, but they pick up a tattered thread and wind it back onto a spool.

Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.

Another question I am frequently asked is, "What do you mean by recovery?" It has taken me a while to answer that one. I had been depending on other people's definitions of recovery until I developed one that worked for me (just as you must come to one that makes sense for you.) Mine is simple. For me, it is about fre

Survivors are often good at both resolving and generating crisis. While this capacity to handle crisis can make you a good emergency room worker or ambulance driver, it can also be a way for you to keep yourself from feeling. If you are addicted to intensity and drama...you may be running from yourself.

Maybe that is the greatest of wonders: that we can be shaped so much by those we've known closely, and equally by those we've never known at all - and that we too can change the world long after we've left it.

There are no winners in battle. Just survivors.

Maternal absence, in one form or another, is always found in the background of the incest romance. Womens literature on incest generally treats the theme of maternal absence tragically. Mens literature trivializes it or treats it comically. And clinical literature tends to treat it judgmentally.

Beyond telling and getting away however there are an awful lot of myths out there about how to move on or get justice. People may tell you to report the crime or confront you abuser- or even to forgive him. I don't necessarily advocate any of these things. I think counseling of some kind can be enormously useful, but the bottom line is that the main way to heal is to find people who will support you, to talk about what happened, and to ground yourself in the reality that the abuse was not your f

Sometimes buried memories of abuse emerge spontaneously. A triggering event or catalyst starts the memories flowing. The survivor then experiences the memories as a barrage of images about the abuse and related details. Memories that are retrieved in this manner are relatively easy to understand and believe because the person remembering is so flooded with coherent, consistent information.

Over half a million women are raped in this country every year, and only a fraction of them report it because they're too ashamed. It’s a really screwed up world, but its not your fault, and what happened to you, it doesn't make you the monster.

Many Survivors blame themselves for the abuse and continue to feel responsible and guilty for anything bad that happens to them or to other people they know. Survivors often feel bad about themselves and different from other people. They therefore isolate themselves from other people and avoid making close friendships.

She told me that my rape was not my fault, that I should feel no shame, that – simple as it may sound – I hadn’t caused it. No one causes rape but rapists. No one causes rape but rapists. No one causes rape but rapists. It was true. And it had not been obvious to me. And hearing it from someone else, a professional, someone who should know, helped me believe that soon I would believe it.

People may not realize the damage that they are doing by placing the blame on the victim ~ but that doesn't lessen the damage that they cause by doing it.

Without dignity, identity is erased. In its absence, men are defined not by themselves, but by their captors and the circumstances in which they are forced to live.

people do not emphasize with victims and give them limitless sympathy, but can very quickly switch to aggression and rejection

Despite the horror, we survivors were endowed with a will to survive. Or instinct. Or maybe it was faith.

After a victim is made to participate in an act of evil, the people in charge put a lot of energy into convincing the child or adult that he or she is evil and a perpetrator rather than a victim.p324

And as she fell apart, her shattered pieces began to bloom — blossoming until she became herself exactly as she was meant to be...

Often feelings of shame, powerlessness, and self-hate are bottled up with the memories, and as the memories come through, these feelings do, too.Yet healing isn't just about pain. It's about learning to love yourself.

Often it isn’t the initiating trauma that creates seemingly insurmountable pain, but the lack of support after.

Many survivors insist they’re not courageous: ‘If I were courageous I would have stopped the abuse.’ ‘If I were courageous, I wouldn't be scared’... Most of us have it mixed up. You don’t start with courage and then face fear. You become courageous because you face your fear.

Coming to terms with incest is not easy. Learning to be a survivor, not a victim, gives new meaning to life

Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life. We are bound to feel anxious as we leave behind old notions of our unworthiness. The challenge is not to be fearless, but to develop strategies of acknowledging our fears and finding out how we can allay them.

Though our childhood abuse left us feeling someone ought to make reparation to us, if we wait a lifetime for that, we may never receive what we need. We choose instead to face the idea that from now on, we are going to take responsibility for caring for ourselves.

Always remember that what was done to you has nothing to do with YOU. It all has to do with a sick perverted abuser that wants/wanted power- You are not at fault and you were/are a target- but it is not because of who you are that you were/ are abused. You are worthy, beautiful, kind, smart and deserving of love, care, passion, and nurturing! xo dr. p

It is important to learn about being multiple, and what works for their healing, from your client. To work with the alters, rather than trying to get the ANP to control the rest of the personality system.

Some Survivors get angry at having to work at recovering from sexual abuse. They feel that it is unfair. They suffered all their life because of what someone else did to them: why do they have to suffer any more pain? This anger of “having” to do something is similar to the anger they felt at “having” to put up with the abuse.

The healing process is best described as a spiral. Survivors go through the stages once, sometimes many times; sometimes in one order, sometimes in another. Each time they hit a stage again, they move up the spiral: they can integrate new information and a broader range of feelings, utilize more resources, take better care of themselves, and make deeper changes.” Allies in Healing by Laura Davis

when traumatic events are of human design, those who bear witness are caught in the conflict between victim and perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement and remembering.

If you have the tendency to repress your anger, you have lost touch with an important part of yourself. Getting angry is a way to gain back that part of yourself by asserting your rights, expressing your displeasure with a situation, and letting others know how you wish to be treated. It can motivate you to make needed changes in a relationship or other areas of your life. Finally it can let others know that you expect to be respected and treated fairly.

If you carry around a lot of suppressed or repressed anger (anger you have unconsciously buried) you may lash out at people, blaming or punishing them for something someone else did a long time ago. Because you were unwilling or unable to express how you felt in the past, you may overreact in the present, damaging a relationship.

Sexual abuse injects poisonous lies into its victims’ hearts and minds. “You’re not worthy” is one of them.

The survived souls give strength to the suffering souls.

It is during a time of failure we bury a past and resurrect a future. Becoming righteous, discerning, and wise are our most prized possessions and across every cultures-this is the greatest feat of all human life.

I'm not... I'm not without a heart,' he heard Sophia say, her chin raised, eyes straight ahead. 'I'm not. I just don't have the luxury of being soft. I am trying to survive.

The rationale seems to be that we keep people as victims by validating them, empathizing with them, and fighting alongside them for equality and the dignity they deserve. I don’t think people are kept down by that. I believe what keeps people down is the constant dismissal of their pain, the degradation, the humiliation, the fear of injustice, and the continuous crushing of their will, their faith, and their hope. This type of oppression kills the self-esteem people need to empower themselves, a

Survivors can't always choose their methods.

Public truth telling is a form of recovery, especially when combined with social action. Sharing traumatic experiences with others enables victims to reconstruct repressed memory, mourn loss, and master helplessness, which is trauma's essential insult. And, by facilitating reconnection to ordinary life, the public testimony helps survivors restore basic trust in a just world and overcome feelings of isolation. But the talking cure is predicated on the existence of a community willing to bear wit

To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest.

And often the worst thing wasn't the victims--they were dead, after all, and beyond any more pain. The worst thing was those who loved them and survived them. Often the walking dead from now on, shell-shocked, hearts ruptured, stumbling through the remainder of their lives without anything left inside of them but blood and organs, impervious to pain, having learned nothing except that the worst things did, in fact, sometimes happen. (Mystic River)

I'd long thought that a surfeit of sensitivity could be a killing thing, too much insight malignant in its own right. The best survivors--there are studies that show it--are those blessed with an inordinate ability to deny. And keep on marching.

Survivors look back and see omens, messages they missed.They remember the tree that died, the gull that splattered onto the hood of the car.They live by symbols. They read meaning into the barrage of spam on the unused computer, the delete key that stops working, the imagined abandonment in the decision to replace it.

The paradox of vengefulness is that it makes men dependent upon those who have harmed them, believing that their release from pain will come only when they make their tormentors suffer. In seeking the Bird's death to free himself, Louie had chained himself, once again, to his tyrant. During the war, the Bird had been unwilling to let go of Louie; after the war, Louie was unable to let go of the Bird.

Sometimes we need to feel bad to know what it's like to feel good...

You have the right to set ground rules. This means deciding if, when, and how you want to see the people in your family. Many survivors feel that if they open up the channels at all, they have to open them up all the way. When you were a child you had two options—to trust or not to trust. Your options are broader now.

Most kids who don't feel enough love and nurturance carry around this kind of inner rage- a rage that often lasts throughout adulthood. The people who should have cared for them didn't. The lesson to take away: All people are shit. This is why troubled youth walk around with chips on their shoulders and why they are so hard to help.Early on they learn that people can't be trusted. They often spend the rest of their lives embracing this damaging belief. Seeing the world through shit-coloured glas

Most kids who don't feel enough love and nurturance carry around this kind of inner rage- a rage that often lasts throughout adulthood. The people who should have cared for them didn't. The lesson to take away: All people are shit. This is why troubled youth walk around with chips on their shoulders and why they are so hard to help.Early on they learn that people can't be trusted. They often spend the rest of their lives embracing this damaging belief. Seeing the world through shit-coloured glas

Physical symptoms such as muscle tension, back problems, stomach distress, constipation, diarrhea, headaches, obesity or maybe even hypertension can be caused by suppressing your emotions. Suppressed anger may also cause you to overreact to people and situations or to act inappropriately. Unexpressed anger can cause you to become irritable, irrational, and prone to emotional outbursts and episodes of depression.

I don't the life of a thug. I live the life of a sinner.

It will all work out, Inas. You come from a long line of survivors and strong women. So everything will be fine in the end. And we are always with you in spirit, to guide you and love you.

Victims are members of society whose problems represent the memory of suffering, rage, and pain in a world that longs to forget.